Ahead of Mother’s Day this Sunday, we’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a Mammy. Here at I Love Cooking, our Mammies are never far from the phone… because we stalk them seventy times a day, asking them stupid questions that often cause them to hang up on us. Here are seven legitimate times we need them, ALWAYS
*love you Mammy*
1. The first time you boil an egg
You don’t trust the Google Machine, you have never heard of Delia, so who do you call when wondering how many minutes to furiously boil an egg for? YOUR MAMMY, OF COURSE.
2. You’ve Met Some One. Who You Fancy
You need to cook something amazing, and all you can remember is a chicken thing your mother used to whop out in the eighties. You call her seventeen thousand times, but resort to making her Skype you during the entire five hour-long cooking process, forgetting to to turn it off as the object of your affection arrives to the door. Cue awkward meet-the-mother scenario way too early. The Chicken A La King was totes worth it though.
3. Your First Supermarket Shop
Is Stork the same as Kerrygold? Can you buy own brand bread? What kind of salt do I need? Oh, you better have your mother on speed dial the first time you hit those aisles; otherwise nobody will steer you clear of the lurid pink sausages that are so appealing because they only cost 10c…
4. Your First Dinner Party
You will spend the week leading up annoying the hell out of your Mammy, first BEGGING her for ideas, then telling her she is completely old fashioned and basically crap, before arriving at her door the day before the party, crying and clutching a hand blender. At this point, she will either laugh in your face, or give you a cup of tea and mind you. Either way, she’s a good ‘un.
5. Picking Your Wedding Food
You may THINK you know what you want to eat at your wedding, but your Mammy, and your Mammy-in-law-to-be will most likely have some pretty strong opinions about what you’re having. And they’ll probably be right. Like, what about poor Aunty Dorry and her poor digestion? How could she possibly be expected to eat that fois gras yoke? Seriously.
6. Buying Any Kitchen Equipment
Just know, whatever you think you want is bad value and will break in two days. Just allow her to tell you what to buy, and get it. It may not be as pretty as you like, but it will work. And it will last. And if you don’t, your Mammy will have the last laugh.
7. When Your First Baby Is Born
If this hasn’t happened to you yet, then listen up. When your first child is born, loads of people will come to visit and bring tiny, gorgeous clothes that will get puked and pooed on, but nobody will bring you food. And this, as a sleep-deprived, certifiably insane new parent, is what you need most in the world. If you are lucky, one or both of your Mammies will cook you dinners. They will be Irish Mammy dinners and you will LOVE THEM. If you can, try to suggest a few extra for the freezer, because in a few week’s time, those babies will be an absolute God. Send.