In celebration of Paddy’s Day and the only week of the year when we allow ourselves to shout about how deadly we are, we have compiled a list that shows, without a doubt, the foodie reasons you know you’re Irish.
1. While in a restaurant, you eat your entire meal with your hand at your face, muttering “sorry, sorry” to fellow diners, for fear the should see the contents of your mouth. At home, you eat like a savage, smearing food all over your face, eating with your mouth open while simultaneously screaming at your family when they give out to you.
2. No matter where you are on holiday you will find a way to have a conversation with a fellow Irish person about the fact that everything about the place is amazing, but the butter is in no way up to scratch. It’s no Kerrygold, like.
3. At some point in your hangover career you have considered the possibility of squeezing an entire packet of Monster Munch into a demi baguette and wondered if the noise at your desk would give you away.
4. In a restaurant, you feel a little bit more comfortable if you hear other diners say “Well done. Cremated. Burned, if you can” when asked how they want their beef cooked.
5. You believed, up until late into the 1990s, that packet soup WAS real soup. So much so, when you left home, you asked your mother to tell you exactly how to make it.
6. When you think of your packed lunch going to school, a jealous rage erupts – 25 years later – when you think about that kid who got a Capri Sun AND a fun size Mars Bar every day, when you were stuck with a feckin blackcurrant Amigo and a caramel wafer. INJUSTICE!
7. You can deflect compliments with the speed of light. Delicious cake? “Sure it was practically made for me”. Amazo dinner? “Ah it was just a bit of this and a bit of that – haven’t a clue how I made it, really“.
8. During your childhood, a lot of your food was boiled to within an inch of its life… and when you are feeling a bit nostalgic, and in need of a bit of comfort food, you like nothing better than a bish of mushy veg, an ice-cream scoop of mashed potato, and some gravy made with granules and a dash of Worchestershire sauce.
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